I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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