i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
