Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
