Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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