You really coming over, don't trick.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize