I am puke
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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