FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
