did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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