Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
