So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Acid is not a monday night drug
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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