I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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