Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
