I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
