i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
