What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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