id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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