I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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