am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
