Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
