weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
