Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
