Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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