I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So apparently I’m into choking now
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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