No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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