I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
