I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
