I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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