David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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