Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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