She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
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