there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
