I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
one might say we're banned from that church
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
