Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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