im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
