My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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