Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
