I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
