mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize