I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
