this just has baby written all over it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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