This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
