you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
