How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I came so hard my ears popped.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
