U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
