honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
