Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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