i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
