I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Buhtt sex?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
