Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
