scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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