Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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