Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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