HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
