What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
