I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
