Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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