Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
