Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she peed on how many people?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
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