he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
