if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
