its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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