I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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