Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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