I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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