if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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