you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize