I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
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