the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
