these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
