i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Panties = found
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
