I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
