Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
