YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
